stephanieeee,

Every time I try to be happy something goes wrong. It’s like it’s not meant to be. But I’m determined to do it, I’m determined to find myself. To find what I want, to make what I want, mine again. I may mess everything up somehow. But life was never meant to be easy. I’ll never let life bring me down. I’ve gone through to much shit to let it bring me down now. Only question.. where to begin?

I feel like I could be going somewhere doing something. But I’m letting everything hold me back..

The fact that you don’t answer when I try to talk to you kills. We’ve known each other for almost 6 years.. and knowing your leaving, even after everything we gave up for each other.. it kills. I promise, there still isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think of you. I know we put each other through hell and I’m so sorry for all the bad things I’ve done to you.. but I’m also sorry for all the bad things I’ve done because of you. I’m trying to get the guts to come say goodbye to you, face to face. I still fucking love you, with every ounce of my heart. I know we’ve both moved on. And I love my boyfriend. But nothing will replace the love I had when I loved you. I hope things are good in Washington. ill never forgot a second I spent with you. Goodbyes have always been our weakness. But this one, will last forever. 3

Its like just sitting here, everything’s flying by faster and faster.. and I’m just still. Unmoving.